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National Singles Day

National Singles Day

There’s a bit of conventional wisdom related to National Singles Day, September 22 that says, “A new love finds you when you least expect it; when you’ve stopped looking and you’re on the verge of giving up, that’s when it hits you like a ton of bricks.” We’d like to add, there should be no continuing to “scan” the groups at the places you go, all the while still telling yourself and the universe you don’t expect anything to happen. The point is actually farther from a future romance’s timing and closer to being okay with yourself. Come to think of it, “You’ve got to be alright alone,” is something Americans have also heard many, many times. It’s when you’re comfortable in your own skin that you exude the kind of confidence that attracts.

But don’t get us wrong. We don’t want to dissuade those who feel they’re ready to give love another chance (or that big first shot). According to the U.S. Census Bureau statistics, the number of single adults in our country is growing significantly, almost exponentially, from year to year. It’s not exactly “shooting fish in a barrel” these days, but should you, as an eligible single, decide it’s time, you’ll probably have multiple options to choose from.

In the meantime, take some space and some time and do some reflection. National Singles Day is a 24-hour period where it’s okay to be about “me, me, me,” because you’re doing some important work, fine-tuning who you know you are, who you thought you were before, and where it all fits in, in the grander scheme.

Although there are holidays around the world (the domestic Singles Awareness Day on February 15, China’s Singles Day on November 11, and the UK’s Singles Day on March 11) that have similar sentiments behind them, here in the US, National Singles Day is less emphatic about the idea that there is something wrong with being without a significant other, as if it’s a condition to be treated. A good bellwether would be an individual who, though he or she may be of limited means, takes time to pamper. Making a small sacrifice to get a massage, to keep up an exercise regimen, or the like, conveys the attitude of National Singles Day: yes, someone is out there for you, but no, you’re not in a big rush.

Some guys were in quite a rush, quite some time ago. Stay with us: the original European settlers to North America, during the vast sweep west from the first landing points like Jamestown, naturally came into contact with the aboriginal tribes of what would become the United States. Grizzled veteran Ebenezer Sproat impressed the Ohio-area Native people so much with his height and stature that they nicknamed him “Hetuck,” meaning “eye of the buck deer,” or simply, “Big Buckeye.” The name “buckeye” gradually came to denote Ohioans in general, and centuries later, in the 1980s, the Buckeyes Council created National Singles Week to “celebrate single life and recognize singles and their contributions to society.” As you see here on National Today, the idea has spread far and wide from the Buckeye State, and now what’s most remembered is September 22, to pack as much celebration into a “single” day (if you will) of that week as we can.

1.Delete you ex’s number (for real)
Don’t forget your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or every single social platform where the two of you are connected. Take the time to make Google Contacts understand, as well. You will both have moments of weakness; the idea is to minimize their impact. We hope you won’t have to move and change your number, but be prepared. It happens.

2.Hit the club…
… or the gym, or the farmers’ market, or a brick-and-mortar book group. Older and wiser people have been known to say, “Develop the interest first, meet people second.” Think of it this way: you’d be more interested in someone who had a depth and breadth of talents, and they’ll feel the same about you, especially if you share some of those areas of interest and knowledge.

3.Marry yourself (?)
Needless to say, this activity is for National Singles Day extremists ONLY. If you want to cement your single status forever, plan a ceremony and invite all your friends and promise to love, cherish, and honor yourself in sickness and in health. (This is technically legal but will not be recognized as a valid marriage certificate by the United States government.)

A. The world is our oyster
For most of the year social events, popular culture, and even family dynamics can seem to be heavily skewed toward the couple’s paradigm. Who hasn’t been the “third wheel” on a road trip or spontaneous outing and ended up feeling like a toadstool, or worse, been in the same position with the additional stress of romantic feelings toward one member of the couple? Well, on National Singles Day, forget all that. This is your day.

B. Singles are gaining ground
With so many Americans who are single either by choice or because of a divorce or a spouse’s passing, businesses are taking advantage of the new niche. Singles can check to see if certain cruise lines have solo cabins without paying a supplemental fee. And if a single person eats out, there’s no shame anymore, as restaurants have become more sensitive to seating parties of one with everyone else, instead of in hidden nooks back by the kitchen. Our advice? Experience single life to the max, and find more of these new developments.

C. It’s easier to become a single parent today
Singles often feel pressure to partner up and produce offspring, and we don’t see this changing fundamentally, considering the human biological procreation impulse (and our grandparents’ repeated reminders thereof). However, increasing numbers of singles with sufficient incomes are looking into adoption and other methods of raising a child on their own. If the idea tugs at your heart-strings, contact your local adoption agency and learn about the avenues available.


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